Yo soy el barro, quien forma Dios
y mis palabras mi propio Play-Doh

construidos de los elementos fundamentales
unidos en la tensión cariñosa

uma arte
mais importante que suas partes

How
could I
but
smile?

I guess this means life can only get better!

I just realized this morning that my idea of the good life closely resembles that of an elderly woman's.

musical sentimentality

life ananonymous

considering the French language.

Amour et la mort...

Même son. Même signification?

water cycle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3DHbRS_JNQ


Doublestuf

laughter sings

Some days I wonder if peanut butter isn't magical.

Dark Night of the Soul

the overcast before the snow

In this reality, opting for life calls forth new life,
intentional death has no such option. In other truth, its the other way.
Lately in life I thought I've been anything but afraid of death, but
how can I say this when I'm so reluctant to die to myself?

beginagain

When I hear that song start, I fall in love all over again.
Strikingly bold in its timidity; melody pronounced, softly.
Has your heart been arrested?
Have you felt the excited tingle, the breathing from your breastbone, the awareness of your restriction?
Then settle in
to the very moment, note by note,
echo by echo,
layer
by
layer.
So aware. Fully present and simultaneously anticipatory,
hopeful
sonorous significant subtlety.

These
are only beginnings,
our only-beginnings.
Our own.

At the last supper, on the night he was betrayed, our Savior insitituted the eucharistic sacrifice of his body and blood. This he did in order to perpetuate the sacrifice of the cross throughout the ages until he should come again, and so to entrust to his beloved spouse, the church, a memorial of his death and resurrection: a sacrament of his love, a sign of unity, a bond of charity, 'a paschal banquet in which Christ is received, the mind is filled with grace, and a pledge of future glory is given to us.'
The church, therefore, spares no effort in trying to ensure that, when present at this mystery of faith, Christian believers should not be there as strangers or silent spectators. On the contrary, having a good grasp of it through the rites and prayers, they should take part in the sacred action, actively, fully aware, and devoutly...

Darjeeling

unlimited

Tea plantation, India

Why do I try so hard to shine my own light
when it's far more brilliant to reflect yours?

Think//Do

The root of the word consider is "to think" or "to do."
One and the same.

How we think
is
how we do.

Godplease,
help us
consider our living
well.

God, you Are!

tis tis

the season for Sufjan's songs for Christmas and Kenny G, in regular rhythym
sweaters and socks
cold fingers and
warm mugs,
excessive sweetness in speech and consumption

and
more
more
more.

Happy Thanksgiving

batons make me nervous.

Have we failed to learn from history?

Unless our meaning supersedes us
our lives never will.

Listen

Even famished leaves can whisper and
discouraging though it appears,
abundance amplifies anguish.

But we sing
because life eases as hope evidences
what has fallen springs up
outward flows;
life, meaning, breath, fullness
What seem hopeless can really never be.

ash meadow
favored grace
son of David

ility

I can't know anything except for that which God gives me to know.
I can't do anything except for that which God gives me to do.
I can, with grace, have confidence in my inability
because therein ability
bears greater
possibility



i.leave.it.to.you.

All the girls in love with Sufjan
all the boys are too.

What is it, man, about you

don't know
just say you are who you are

and it's true.

Sufjan!
Asheville!
12/7
Ole!

Seeing You

I am best in November
because in November
you are clearest to me.

luna tunes

Composers seem to
value the moon

I take delight in watching the leaves fall
one
at
a
time.

today

warm breeze,
sunshine
peace

fullness

Zukünftige Berücksichtigungen

Gott wird versorgen
was ich brauche.

the less sleep I get, the thirstier my body becomes.
hm.

Isaiah 26

...
You will keep in perfect peace
Him whose mind is steadfast
because he trusts in You
...

what could I have ever done to elicit such faithfulness?
such grace?


nothing.

forrrr.ev.er. now.

Tried to think of life in the scope of eternity this morning and my mental grasp felt all kinds of weak. Still, there came insight.

"Why think about eternity when you have now?
If you can't be satisfied with me now,
how can you be satisfied with me for eternity?"


[Isn't now a part of eternity?]

further dessert

baking has become a form of
therapeutic stress reflief.

delicious calculation --
comestible kinesthetics.

breakfast apple pie

oats, jonagold, water and cinnamon
sweet, satisfyingest beginning today.

in lieu of coffee, maté.

(no crust to savor but that's okay)



please,
fill us with goodness that lasts.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.
Psalm 62:1

dental floss! ahhhhhhh.

Something that I'm learning a lot of this semester is the idea of mindfulness;
of being aware of life, others, my present situation and location --
outside of myself;
included,
but secondarily.
I believe
We all exist within and for
each other's frameworks.

developing a heart for the Roma people.

home free
home fry!

This afternoon feels so Damien Rice-y.

smoky mountains!

O Holy Spirit,
We pleadingly would
that you would
beso thick
on this campus today
as its morning fog.

Bind us to you as you wish and will;
Kiss us with your midst.

with His grace
i can glorify God
with my words

drywall fall

a couple days ago, someone cleared a small part of the the ground of the woods near our athletic field,
piled it in a heap
and burned it.

as a result, our
campus has smelled like
camping
the past couple of days.

this morning, window open
it felt like camping.
it smelled and felt; I smelled and felt
cool-chilly.
and warm in the blankets.

for fun, I put my hand to the wall
like when you
wake up
pressed up
against the side of your outside living huddle
and it too felt damp, (in a more dry way.)

october, octopus, octagon

the month, the necklace on the Philippino woman at her carry out restaurant, one of the three favorite shapes of the four year old sweet spirit I got to babysit Friday night.
A markedly sensational intro to this first officially fall-felt month.

Yesterday evening, my roommate Charity and I decided to travel our way to downtown Knoxville in order to order from Philippine Connection, on the city's far NE side. We shared a small veggie 'adobo,' served by a woman who seemed as familiar with hardening and her cultural heritage as she was with the city-culture around her. She wore a tight-fancy textile shirt and gold jewelry; the thick, flat, broad kind on which some people slip charms. Hers was an octopus, wrappped around with an appearance of holding on, looking strong and intimidating, and maybe a little tired.

Char and I left, carrying out with our meal a sccent that filled the car with a residual having-just-spent-ten-minutes-taking-in-everything-about-the-take-out-shack waft.

From there, we proceded to Old City and parked at Barley's. She split the carry out box in two; lid and bottom, such that we'd each have something from which to eat. Smart girl! Though it may or may not have been healthful, our meal made for pal-enty between the two of us, menu price 3.25 (cheap eatin!)

In an effort to help her make closer acquaintance with Knoxville, we headed to Java for coffee and some studyin, where we got a brief, one-spaced-out-cup, bold taste of both. We also had a couple cookies, zip-locked and waiting to enrich our study time.
Big and chocolate chip and walnutty,
some of the batch of
my payment for babysitting :).

note to self

there's no shame in using the thesaurus if you've got it.
articulation is always valuable,
just speak judiciously.
Weigh
and measure
to
exact your treasure.

fellow students

I long for us to long for the best in each other,
to live and love and celebrate as brothers and sisters.

Much love.

hear hear hear hear my
heart heart heart it
beats beats me
the way
it stops
and starts
and stops and starts.

You listen as well as I
and your hearing is astute
we both know I'm not deaf
but sometimes I feel mute.

please
give me a mind to know you
ears to hear you,
a mouth to sing you
and what you want
heard

what a delight to listen and imagine
you give us brains to do that.

After having just held our breath, the first thing we do is inhale.

Facebook | Ashley Dawson

Facebook | Ashley Dawson: "Over the years I have developed a picture of what a human being living humanely is like. She is a person who understands, values and develops her body, finding it beautiful and useful; a person who is real and is willing to take risks, to be creative, to manifest competence, to change when the situation calls for it, and to find ways to accommodate to what is new and different, keeping that part of the old that is still useful and discarding what is not."
- Virginia Satir

freedom

You free me to enjoy today exactly as it was made to be enjoyed,
exactly as I was made to enjoy it;
to enjoy you.

there's more to resuscitation than breathing.

Pin-dots in piles,
green texture in miles.
You're the only one
whose details breathe beauty.

Your hand
guides the point
in collaborative touch;
nestled intimacy,
unreserved, intentional --

waving, floating, flowing, breathing

halcyon wholeness
ebbing entirety
milieu moments of magnanimous minute miracles,

God's glory.

Long have I known a glory in it all,
But never knew I this;
Here such a passion is
As stretcheth me apart. Lord, I do fear
Thou'st made the world too beautiful this year.
- Edna St. Vincent Millay, God's World

the wind is my sister
the crickets are my friends
and the train is the heavy-footed nuisance that deserves credit
for reminding me

this home feels as foreign as it is comfortable.

Mr. Honda

(After shaking hands with an able-bodied young man)

"Ow, he crazy! Strong man gonna send me to a chiropractice!"

days off call for blueberry muffins

connections;

conclusions...




roots and fruits.

take only what you neeed;

only, what do you take we need?

my favorite time?
downtime.

where is the sense in the unreflective life?
i don't think i'll ever know
until i have time
to think about it.

today from my car at a red light I watched a trio at the stopwalk, two girls and a boy, a year or two younger than I, perhaps. both the girls had med. short edgy haircuts, the likes of which I often secretly used to wish I had the creativity or hardy intestines to try, one her natural dirty blonde and the other very stand-out in a bright blonde; bleached enough to appear unnatural, but platinum enough to look cool. Both girls seemed comfortable in their long, light jeans-shorts and long, light, baggy plaid shirts. muchacho was wearing tighter darker jeans, a dark green shirt and dark facial hair -- the kind every almost-twenty-something young man desirous of facial hair hopes to have -- in a trendy-lengthed outgrowth around his jowls and chin. (Like a beard, but too short to have escaped the comforts of his chin's dropoff. [Does this still technically qualify as a beard?])

They crossed the street and walked and talked. The three of them. Maybe they had called each other up beforehand to get together. Maybe they had plans, a destination. Maybe they didn't.
Maybe they were just walking and talking for the sake of walking and talking. And relating. That sounds good, living life together.

remarkable day!

Highlights

of my first night's work at the sushi restaurant.

- Tasting Uni
- Quail egg shooter.

"Somebody come, you help them. Take order, you know? Okay?"

21cAmer

We have enough time to keep repeat rapport with a shiny box
even one in the kitchen
but we don't have time or words to make dessert from scratch together, as a family.

We've just enough money to buy eclairs, but
can't
afford
oranges?

Sixty dollars for spaghetti and
half-cent conversation.

We'runnin outta syllabs.
consonants. consonance.
vwls.
vws.

hrmny.

breathe something new

"will they look back and see a Church too comfortable, insulated from the pain of the rest of the world, empty of compassion, and devoid of deeds? Will they write about a people who stood by and watched while a hundred million died of AIDS and 50 million children were orphaned, of Christians who lived in luxury and self-indulgence while millions died for lack of food and water? Will schoolchildren read in disgust about a Church that had the wealth to build great sanctuaries but lacked the will to build schools, hospitals and clinics?"

Hopefully not, but we need to apply our lives to this hope and not just our idealism. I don't think we can do it by ourselves...

he loves us.

my life is changing

Sometimes life feels overwhelming
in the most beautiful ways
and
in the most overwhelming ways,
sometimes life feels beautful.

Connectivity

How do we relate?

We are one
AND we are 7 billion.
And still we are one.

What significance could it hold?

Vegan Easter Bread

Is it Paska-ble?

Education

"The word ‘education’ is derived from the Latin root ‘educare’. While education refers to collection of worldly facts, educare is to bring out from within."

Hopes and Dreams

for this summer. Sometimes it's the simple things.

- Read. Whatever I want!
- LA COPA MUNDIAAAAAALLL! Fiestas at the casa!
- Tea parties? :)
- Bio
- WORK
- Runnin
- Writing
- Baking all manner of delicious goods

more to come.

Words

Sometimes our verbal designations turn
nothing
into something.

What came first, the word or the experience? Did they happen at the same time?

Surely the only occasion for simultaneously relating a word with an experience is after that word has been learned, efficiently programmed into the responder's mind.
What if it is a new word?

In this, and most other circumstances, even if the responder's creative mind comes up with a word very quickly, the word still exists as a response to an experience (imagined or real).

When we began to assign words to particular experiences, did we then begin to narrow our life's focus; to stifle our creativity for response, focusing more on classification than the experience?

Are there instances in which our words create an experience?

Beauty

Who can fake or force its realest form?

Horticultural Therapy!

My Bible notes a verbal equivalence between the words:


calmness and healing,

pain and evil.

Sometime in my life I would not mind to see the redwoods. Or go to Greece.

avocado + red quinoa + taco seasoning = vamos a ver.

whoa

This is also next.
http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/001370.html
My, my.

Next Comestible Pursuit!

I have avocados and I want brownies. Possible? You betcha.

http://rjlacko.wordpress.com/2008/03/05/raw-brownies-with-icing/



Aaaaaah looking forward to these.


*Edit: More like healthi-fied dirt pudding. A little more sweet than I might like but the taste is helpfully regulated by a little bit of peanut butter. Pleasantly surprised by the avocado icing!

plum

I love
the tang
of the skin
of the plum.

sunny

sunny day tree swing
your head up, see bright
blue and green flashes
our chances for
glances at dances
of light and leaves
the memories of blues
and greens you've never seen
such hues as these
discoveries are free
you are on wood and rope and
would you conceive to hope for
in your dreams and plans
of foreign lands
the way shown from the only One who understands
over the Son and by his side to gently guide
his hand to push along a short swing
out and back
to where it started
to look clear and beautiful,
your eyes of truth and faith
full proof
is fully overcome
over and swing with me.

waft waft sniff snifffff smile smile

so thankful for my sense of smell.
so fascinated by this company!

wish I had a card to the fragrance library!!

hmm!

Truth, like the air we breathe
comes to us compliments of the creator.
May it always be so.

New Goal:

backflip.

I think I can.

Be Good to Your Pineal Gland

This article is worth your while,
(even if only for the first paragraph and its mention of Descarte's thoughts.)

Let the sun shine in!

copy and paste 3/1

selected thoughts (ctrl c)
here (ctrl v)

I want to go to Canada!

I just enjoyed the first 50% of the most delicious grapefruit I have ever eaten in my life.

Two little big lessons

You know how certain times in your life seem to come with a theme? Maybe it's just me, but it seems there are some lessons I have to learn over and over. Perhaps it's this repetition that gives them that thematic feel. It seems like they're always the simple things I need help with. For now life is asking me:
Where is your heart, your focus?
and reminding me to follow God's lead.

He has blessed us with so much, including unique, individual manifestations of Himself that he gives us to use for others' benefit, and for learning more about him as well, that we might enjoy him and learn to glorify him more and more.

What an opportunity, then, to explore ourselves, and this world and its situations and experiences to learn more about how he has blessed us, and made us to bless others. I'm so thankful for these reminders, and am so thankful for this opportunity to explore everything he has made and provided, and to develop this Ashley girl with his help in what will hopefully be the most enriching ways.

Exciting stuff :)!

Good News!

In a recent discussion with one of my professors I admitted the feeling of despair at my body's current state of soil deprivation, begging for some insight as to where I could remedy this. She informed me that there was a csa in Seymour that might be the solution. So I emailed them to tell them of my sorry state and ask whether they could use any help and they said YES! AND I found that they're only ten minutes from school!
Dirt and my fingernails are to meet once more. Updates to come!

If the bugs are gone, so then will be the birds.

the sun shone proud
and the earth sighed relief
when you were born.
"finally,"
they thought
"a companion who understands."

it is irreverent to be inside on a day like this

further math

soymilk < almond milk < down-on-the-farm Sugar cow milk


^ Sugar

To Discovery!

Fruit awes me.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/iron-deficiency-anemia/DS00323/DSECTION=symptoms
(13th symptom down)

reflections and illuminations on being together

it's not the pale moon
that excites me,
that thrills and delights me;
oh, no -
it's just the nearness of you.


[as originally relayed by miss norah jones]

mathematics

mango - dental floss = trouble

Proverbs 20:6

"Many a man claims to have unfailing love,
but a faithful man who can find?"

I think he wants more than our words.


"One major way to analyze characters (within a story) is to analyze characters' actions, evaluating the functions of their actions in relation to the plot of the story." (David Rhoads, Reading Mark, Engaging the Gospel)

La Vita è Bella

Happy Friday to me :)

12

I was just thinking about the twelve Jesus appointed and how, apart from their own special, 'unique' qualities as human beings, none of them was really "special, special" ...just willing to submit their lives to His plan. Maybe there is something in that.

Lunch! Dinner! Breakfast!!

I could enjoy some assimilation of lentils or rice or both every day for the rest of my life and die incredibly contented.

On Leaving My Dorm Room and Seeing a Skull-Shaped Water Formation in the Drinking Fountain

Death and life both greeted me on my way out the door
With a smile and a kiss I submitted to life,
and death it was no more.

There is so much to explore.

I wish the Northern Lights were more accessible







In the meantime I will enjoy all those tangible gifts which are in my grasp, like

green grass


dead things that are not so green, but still pretty


secret spots


constant opportunities for reflection


All of which are such lovely reminders...

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17

Three Words

NAXOS MUSIC LIBRARY

I beg

for you to move
I beg
for you to move
I beg
for you to move through me

Shane & Shane

To All the Ladies

This morning, pulling my hair back into a wet braid, I couldn't help but recall a certain verse that goes a little something like this:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
- 1 Peter 3:3-4

Braided hair?! Ah! Does this make me a girl of questionable modesty? If that's where I place my worth, or my hope for acceptance, or how I manipulate others into approving me; then, well, yes-- it does.

But let's also consider the time and culture in which our verse was written:
"Historical sources indicate that in that era, it frequently was the case that women would braid their hair high atop their heads, having it intertwined with jewels, etc. It was a showcase—so elaborate as to be a sensation. One certainly may array himself or herself with pride and dignity, but to dress so as to flaunt the physical is not consistent with the will of Christ... What he is prohibiting is that excess which would detract from the woman’s spiritual charms." (Thank you, Christian Courier.)

Here is the verse in another version:

"Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." (NASB)

"What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in." (The Message)

Disposition, here, is both a temperament and a posture -- say we always directed both our attitudes and actions according to what would bring pleasure to God.
Say we didn't just say it, but did it.
This is what we should aim for. In doing this we give the greatest satisfaction to the one who allows us to feel satisfied, we are able to promote the sort of beauty that he created beauty for in the first place.

Shallow isn't very becoming, at least not for very long. It does a good job of wearing the beauty of everything around it and passing it off as its own, but in no time you begin to see right through it. Depth, however, both fosters and requires more intentionality; mostly in the careful preservation and seeking out of all it has to offer....

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
- 2 Corinthians 4:18
Our eyes, our attitudes, our actions...

So do braids and dresses and scarves and those matching earrings make us hoochies? Not at all, but they don't make us beautiful, either.

soil and seeds, water and sun

sounds good.

Tidbits

I love learning new facts and lessons. Today this happened with one of my favorite verses -- after all this time, imagine gaining new wisdom and insight from something with which you have been so familiar. Or so you thought :). This is great.

"Trust in the Lord with all your hear and do not lean on your own understanding."
Proverbs 3:5
All this time I have read a version that advises readers to 'lean not' on their own understanding. Here the warning sounds like a suggestion. In the case of the more accurate translation, though, the adviso is less a suggestion and more a demand. Do not. "Do not depend on your own understanding. In any circumstance. Do not. Just don't do it." I never saw it like that before.
As my roommate Amanda (holla!)* and I discussed this she brought up the sense of hesitation this might cause for us who have only ever really depended on ourselves and have felt pretty confident about our own understanding. Are we really to drop all of it, completely? Yes. It may be difficult, but the passage continues with good reasons for us to trust God with his wisdom and direction and [supreme]understanding.
"In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will bring healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." (3:6-8)
Here 'flesh' is also understood as the Hebrew 'navel' or umbilical cord... (our first connection to and source of life?! :)) Also, 'refreshment' can mean 'medicine' and bones, 'marrow.' Medicine is healing, restorative (when it is good and effective) and any medicine prescribed and administered by God must be only the best. Marrow is responsible for manufacturing important blood cells. Blood, of course, physically, is understood as the source and sustenance of our mammalian life. When marrow 'goes bad,' there is no way for the body to make more; the marrow can only be replaced through transplantation. For this marrow -- a fundamental, vital, not-self-renewable necessity -- to be refreshed and restored, then, seems like a pretty big deal!

I don't know much about the body or the other medical or linguistic connections that might exist, but even this little bit is enough to blow me away. Imagine what else there could be, what other significance is there to be found! For this, I treasure your insight and your openness to share what God is teaching you and what His Spirit points out to you in this passage, in your life, in anything. Share with me, and together He can make our understanding even more complete!

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God."
-Philippians 1:9-11

In his love,
Ashley.


* there is no toned-down, one-word, creamier version of this salutative recognition. Therefore, I use it without hesitation.

Amusing

On recipezaar.com, under the recipe for "Rusty's Chocolate Vegan Brownies"...

"More recipes like this one:

Baked Bacon-Wrapped Brown Sugar Smokies"


Do you think they do that on purpose?