I told mom "I feel like something cool is going to happen today."
As I came downstairs to start some laundry, I had a thought.
What if the end of the world happened today?
Whoa!
At first I felt excited, but then a little guilty... a little burdened, kinda. If this life of mine were to end today, I can't say I'd be too disappointed! I love what 'life' is, what it has come to mean for me where I am right now; the people in it, this new stage I'm exploring... but I know that what I have to look forward to -- the sights, the sounds, (or whatever perceptions we might come to know)-- is much more fantastic than even the sweetest scene I could ever imagine witnessing, the most beautiful song I could ever hear. To praise God and celebrate His Kingdom perpetually with others of that same focus! [Isn't that the way we're supposed to live our lives now, anyway?] I know people say they can only imagine, but I admit I have a hard time doing even that! There is everything to look forward to.
But what about for people that have no idea what that feels like? No fantastic picture of hope, much less any reception of that concept, at all? That's the clincher. The thing that always gets me when I start to think about this world pulling its end cover shut. According to what I believe, what the Word of God tells me about these things, the outlook for them isn't nearly as hopeful.
There is absolutely nothing to look forward to.
That hurts to think about. It kind of provides a better understanding about why a lot of people live the way they do, though. But it still hurts.
There is a lot more that needs to be explored and said about this, but I've got some showering and malt-o-mealing to do in time to head to church.
I'll end with a couple things for now --
1) How should we best respond to this? Street corner preaching? Is it enough to live in a
God-pleasing way with our 'everyday' jobs, so long as we're sincerely focused on bringing glory to Him?
2) This morning's devotion (which came after the laundry got started) listed Isaiah 35:2, and then proceeded with this message.
"Yes or no. I like these kinds of answers -- black and white responses to questions that I can neatly
fit into two distinct categories. Most of the time, God's answer to us isn't so clean cut. In the thick of
our problems, we forget that our chief purpose is not to get a yes or no from God but to glorify Him
in whatever kind of answer we receive.
Remember, it isn't about us. It's easy to be caught up in how we will fair at the end of our respective
storms, but in the end God is always sovereign, and our situations provide the perfect opportunity
for His sovereignty to be displayed. Look at what He did for Peter. God didn't immediately remove
him from persecution; instead God allowed the situation to develop so Peter's life would be a
testimony of God's love and provision for His people."
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
naturally
Taken from the journal, the kind with a cover, lots of pages... everything! from last night.
I had tea late tonight, and so I feel inspired. Due to the late-night nature of this inspiration, however, my options for (creative) outlet are limited. What better excuse could there be to (supplant(?)) this habit... desire... to write?
I guess I could paint a picture to express myself, but, let's face it -- I'm not a painter.
I like to paint. I can get into it.
But it's not what comes naturally.
WRITING, though...
Writing happens. Sometimes, it seems,
I have no choice.
Of course, I could just choose not to write.
But then that would just feel more wrong than it would be unnatural to pick up a paint
brush at the first whiff of anguish or discovery to come along.
If I've learned anything consistently over the years (besides the nature of God's amazing
love and grace,) it is that we do ourselves a disservice to suppress our natural tendencies.
[So long as they aren't malign or harmful to others.]
Not only this, but we generally tend to make matters worse by perfecting suppression and
moving to even adopting someone else's full characteristic. Their own,
uniquely-designed, 'natural tendency.'
We trust theirs more than our own; and why? Because it is so appealing? Surely. It
brings us confidence because it works. We enjoy seeing the appeal it injects into / causes to
seep from our lives.
But then.
Oh, but then.
It doesn't matter who you are; t h e n you realize...
it's not right!
It works. You like it. You could get into it.
But you know deep down it's simply not you.
--> (Bullet points cause my hand's gettin tired and my mind slower)
--> Self-dissin ~ further potential / likelihood to push "SELF" down
--> but you know better; you realize. You champion the situation. You humbly
acknowledge your former misguidedness and begin to learn, trust, love
YOURSELF.
Your natural tendencies.
A n d i t ' s a m a z i n . : ) .
It's vibrant, it's expressive,
it's natural, it's bold,
it's beautiful,
it's YOu! :D
And it's your contribution to the world
to this life, to God.
His gift to you, your gift back when you tailor yourself and your life to fit His will,
uniquely, divinely.
So find it. Trust it. Love it.
Praise God with it.
I had tea late tonight, and so I feel inspired. Due to the late-night nature of this inspiration, however, my options for (creative) outlet are limited. What better excuse could there be to (supplant(?)) this habit... desire... to write?
I guess I could paint a picture to express myself, but, let's face it -- I'm not a painter.
I like to paint. I can get into it.
But it's not what comes naturally.
WRITING, though...
Writing happens. Sometimes, it seems,
I have no choice.
Of course, I could just choose not to write.
But then that would just feel more wrong than it would be unnatural to pick up a paint
brush at the first whiff of anguish or discovery to come along.
If I've learned anything consistently over the years (besides the nature of God's amazing
love and grace,) it is that we do ourselves a disservice to suppress our natural tendencies.
[So long as they aren't malign or harmful to others.]
Not only this, but we generally tend to make matters worse by perfecting suppression and
moving to even adopting someone else's full characteristic. Their own,
uniquely-designed, 'natural tendency.'
We trust theirs more than our own; and why? Because it is so appealing? Surely. It
brings us confidence because it works. We enjoy seeing the appeal it injects into / causes to
seep from our lives.
But then.
Oh, but then.
It doesn't matter who you are; t h e n you realize...
it's not right!
It works. You like it. You could get into it.
But you know deep down it's simply not you.
--> (Bullet points cause my hand's gettin tired and my mind slower)
--> Self-dissin ~ further potential / likelihood to push "SELF" down
--> but you know better; you realize. You champion the situation. You humbly
acknowledge your former misguidedness and begin to learn, trust, love
YOURSELF.
Your natural tendencies.
A n d i t ' s a m a z i n . : ) .
It's vibrant, it's expressive,
it's natural, it's bold,
it's beautiful,
it's YOu! :D
And it's your contribution to the world
to this life, to God.
His gift to you, your gift back when you tailor yourself and your life to fit His will,
uniquely, divinely.
So find it. Trust it. Love it.
Praise God with it.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
It's time to get serious...
"The Kingdom of heaven/God in the preaching of Jesus as recounted in the Gospels is the reign of God that he brings about through Jesus Christ -- i.e., the establishment of God's rule in the hearts and lives of his people, the overcoming of all the forces of evil, the removal from the world of all the consequences of sin -- including death and all that diminishes life -- and the creation of a new order of righteousness and peace. The idea of God's kingdom is central to Jesus' teaching and is mentioned 50 times in Matthew alone."
Wowee.
What does God's Kingdom look like on earth?
Are we living to perpetuate these things? [If not, what are we doing? Or, better question:]
What could we be doing now to more completely promote God's Kingdom?
Wowee.
What does God's Kingdom look like on earth?
Are we living to perpetuate these things? [If not, what are we doing? Or, better question:]
What could we be doing now to more completely promote God's Kingdom?
Diggin It!
"The word 'vegetarian' is a term derived from the Latin 'vegetus,' meaning 'whole, sound, fresh, lively."
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I've got the Portland pouts
Ahhh Pacific! Ahhh Washington! Ahh Oregon! Ah, Califoooooornia! Whyyyyyy
must we be sooo far apart?
Every time I rationalize, sell myself on some reason that it makes sense to be distanced,
"that's just the way it is" and whatnot
every time
I think I'm over you,
West coast,
and oooooh, you just come f l o o d i n g back to me !
in large, powerful ocean swells!
in subtly powerful pacific sunsets!
in reference after agonizingly delightful reference to your fantastically
herbivore-friendly
co-op position-hiring
bike-riding
Portland population!
I would drive to you in a second
but mom puts her foot down
not on the gas pedal though, of course.
Someday! someday. someday.
has become the all-too-familiar refrain
Wait till you're older.
You'll have a chance to do it someday.
Life is so short though, I want to say!
Why must I wait for someday
when i have today?!
This is perhaps the most opportune time of my life
I want to say.
But I'm twenty.
and I'm female.
and my mom is my insurance provider.
i don't mean for this to be a complaint,
i rather enjoy this awkward age
rather a lot!
but it doesn't provide for much leverage in the convincing of my madre of the legitimacy of my traveling endeavors.
that's all i'm sayin i guess.
Still, praise God, there is a confidence to be found in God's timing.
Consider me a very confident young lady.
(With God's help, of course :))
I can't wait to write to you about all my adventures :O), wherever
and whenever
they take place.
Love,
Ashley :)
must we be sooo far apart?
Every time I rationalize, sell myself on some reason that it makes sense to be distanced,
"that's just the way it is" and whatnot
every time
I think I'm over you,
West coast,
and oooooh, you just come f l o o d i n g back to me !
in large, powerful ocean swells!
in subtly powerful pacific sunsets!
in reference after agonizingly delightful reference to your fantastically
herbivore-friendly
co-op position-hiring
bike-riding
Portland population!
I would drive to you in a second
but mom puts her foot down
not on the gas pedal though, of course.
Someday! someday. someday.
has become the all-too-familiar refrain
Wait till you're older.
You'll have a chance to do it someday.
Life is so short though, I want to say!
Why must I wait for someday
when i have today?!
This is perhaps the most opportune time of my life
I want to say.
But I'm twenty.
and I'm female.
and my mom is my insurance provider.
i don't mean for this to be a complaint,
i rather enjoy this awkward age
rather a lot!
but it doesn't provide for much leverage in the convincing of my madre of the legitimacy of my traveling endeavors.
that's all i'm sayin i guess.
Still, praise God, there is a confidence to be found in God's timing.
Consider me a very confident young lady.
(With God's help, of course :))
I can't wait to write to you about all my adventures :O), wherever
and whenever
they take place.
Love,
Ashley :)
Monday, May 12, 2008
Well it's 1:41 am and thanks to the vanilla.soy-enhanced tea earlier, I'm nowhere near bed. What better to do, then, then think / type / create some sort of introspective-yet-generally-applicable ramble(?)
Or maybe just think about what tomorrow might include.
Or maybe just allow for some unrestricted, not-necessarily-organized thought. I think I like that option the best.
In that case,
#1: I miss North Carolina. I haven't seen a whooole lot of it, but the parts that I have been blessed enough to mingle in have --effortlessly, it seems -- managed to leave an impression on me. I can't deny that its people have a part in it, but on an equal slant, its super super natural beauty-- dark but lovely, bright but unassertive -- is beyond forgetting. I miss Boone, I miss that spot on the drive through the mountains that looks like the ocean in the distance, I miss Asheville. I'm so thankful for what North Carolina, piece by piece, has meant to me over the past couple of years. buuuut i miss it. buuut i trust God will make of this what He will.
#2: For whatever reason, film-making has greatly intrigued me, lately. Not like the big-scale, big time productions, but the small, simple (but so significant) ones. There's just something about preserving memories. About revealing a truth. About that feeling you get at the end of a movie -- that inspired one, that post-film buzz that really gets you going and motivates you beyond what you were before.
#3: The future looks like this:
Options, options!
I'm grateful for options, choosing is unnaturally (and probably unnecessarily) 'tough'
but it makes for a good-natured sort of predicament.
but anyway, the options:
(*) Head to West Africa in Jan. or February to teach missionary neen-yos as a Short-Term Assistant for about 7 months
(*) Attend the University of New Mexico in the fall to start on a Nutrition degree. Probably with a focus on community health. Probably in such a way that I could apply it to missions, for contributing to the well-being of communities any/every where in the world, even in the U.S.!
(*) Pursue a year-long internship with ECHO to learn mas y mas about horticulture and such
(*) Stop thinking about nailing down a specific plan! Pursue God and trust Him for the rest!
The fourth one seems the most 'faithful' and obedient to God's general desire for us as His creation -- that is, to not 'worry' about such things, to seek to please Him in everything I do and trust that doing so will, step-by-step, take me into a meaningful state of being in this life and in my relationship with Him -- but somehow, even though this is what I 'should' do, I generally find myself a little more occupied with the planning and researching and the sorting-out of details. But it doesn't exactly bring peace. I'm not saying planning is wrong -- I rather think it's a privileged responsibility -- but I am saying that I've not been supporting the other side of things as dutifully as I should.
It feels good to have established this, hopefully it will cause me to feel more accountable, to be more effective in pursuing God and God only. That's all I really want to do, deep down. What's keeping me back? What will move me forward?
Ayy, ayudame, porfavor.
Paz y muchas gracias,
Ashli : )
Or maybe just think about what tomorrow might include.
Or maybe just allow for some unrestricted, not-necessarily-organized thought. I think I like that option the best.
In that case,
#1: I miss North Carolina. I haven't seen a whooole lot of it, but the parts that I have been blessed enough to mingle in have --effortlessly, it seems -- managed to leave an impression on me. I can't deny that its people have a part in it, but on an equal slant, its super super natural beauty-- dark but lovely, bright but unassertive -- is beyond forgetting. I miss Boone, I miss that spot on the drive through the mountains that looks like the ocean in the distance, I miss Asheville. I'm so thankful for what North Carolina, piece by piece, has meant to me over the past couple of years. buuuut i miss it. buuut i trust God will make of this what He will.
#2: For whatever reason, film-making has greatly intrigued me, lately. Not like the big-scale, big time productions, but the small, simple (but so significant) ones. There's just something about preserving memories. About revealing a truth. About that feeling you get at the end of a movie -- that inspired one, that post-film buzz that really gets you going and motivates you beyond what you were before.
#3: The future looks like this:
Options, options!
I'm grateful for options, choosing is unnaturally (and probably unnecessarily) 'tough'
but it makes for a good-natured sort of predicament.
but anyway, the options:
(*) Head to West Africa in Jan. or February to teach missionary neen-yos as a Short-Term Assistant for about 7 months
(*) Attend the University of New Mexico in the fall to start on a Nutrition degree. Probably with a focus on community health. Probably in such a way that I could apply it to missions, for contributing to the well-being of communities any/every where in the world, even in the U.S.!
(*) Pursue a year-long internship with ECHO
(*) Stop thinking about nailing down a specific plan! Pursue God and trust Him for the rest!
The fourth one seems the most 'faithful' and obedient to God's general desire for us as His creation -- that is, to not 'worry' about such things, to seek to please Him in everything I do and trust that doing so will, step-by-step, take me into a meaningful state of being in this life and in my relationship with Him -- but somehow, even though this is what I 'should' do, I generally find myself a little more occupied with the planning and researching and the sorting-out of details. But it doesn't exactly bring peace. I'm not saying planning is wrong -- I rather think it's a privileged responsibility -- but I am saying that I've not been supporting the other side of things as dutifully as I should.
It feels good to have established this, hopefully it will cause me to feel more accountable, to be more effective in pursuing God and God only. That's all I really want to do, deep down. What's keeping me back? What will move me forward?
Ayy, ayudame, porfavor.
Paz y muchas gracias,
Ashli : )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)