Well it's 1:41 am and thanks to the vanilla.soy-enhanced tea earlier, I'm nowhere near bed. What better to do, then, then think / type / create some sort of introspective-yet-generally-applicable ramble(?)
Or maybe just think about what tomorrow might include.
Or maybe just allow for some unrestricted, not-necessarily-organized thought. I think I like that option the best.

In that case,

#1: I miss North Carolina. I haven't seen a whooole lot of it, but the parts that I have been blessed enough to mingle in have --effortlessly, it seems -- managed to leave an impression on me. I can't deny that its people have a part in it, but on an equal slant, its super super natural beauty-- dark but lovely, bright but unassertive -- is beyond forgetting. I miss Boone, I miss that spot on the drive through the mountains that looks like the ocean in the distance, I miss Asheville. I'm so thankful for what North Carolina, piece by piece, has meant to me over the past couple of years. buuuut i miss it. buuut i trust God will make of this what He will.

#2: For whatever reason, film-making has greatly intrigued me, lately. Not like the big-scale, big time productions, but the small, simple (but so significant) ones. There's just something about preserving memories. About revealing a truth. About that feeling you get at the end of a movie -- that inspired one, that post-film buzz that really gets you going and motivates you beyond what you were before.

#3: The future looks like this:

Options, options!
I'm grateful for options, choosing is unnaturally (and probably unnecessarily) 'tough'
but it makes for a good-natured sort of predicament.
but anyway, the options:

(*) Head to West Africa in Jan. or February to teach missionary neen-yos as a Short-Term Assistant for about 7 months

(*) Attend the University of New Mexico in the fall to start on a Nutrition degree. Probably with a focus on community health. Probably in such a way that I could apply it to missions, for contributing to the well-being of communities any/every where in the world, even in the U.S.!

(*) Pursue a year-long internship with ECHO to learn mas y mas about horticulture and such

(*) Stop thinking about nailing down a specific plan! Pursue God and trust Him for the rest!

The fourth one seems the most 'faithful' and obedient to God's general desire for us as His creation -- that is, to not 'worry' about such things, to seek to please Him in everything I do and trust that doing so will, step-by-step, take me into a meaningful state of being in this life and in my relationship with Him -- but somehow, even though this is what I 'should' do, I generally find myself a little more occupied with the planning and researching and the sorting-out of details. But it doesn't exactly bring peace. I'm not saying planning is wrong -- I rather think it's a privileged responsibility -- but I am saying that I've not been supporting the other side of things as dutifully as I should.

It feels good to have established this, hopefully it will cause me to feel more accountable, to be more effective in pursuing God and God only. That's all I really want to do, deep down. What's keeping me back? What will move me forward?

Ayy, ayudame, porfavor.

Paz y muchas gracias,
Ashli : )