So

China.

Finally got the visa sent!

Recently, not going to lie, I have had a hard time, a mental conundrum of sorts. It seems a lot of those I love and respect, those with more life experience, more wisdom, more opinions than I have, are not feeling the jolliest about these China plans.

Yes, it was fast
No, I probably didn't think about it long enough
Maybe it's not what God had in mind

but then again maybe
just maybe
it will be alright.

It is something that has definitely been on my mind lately; should I go? should I not? whaaat do I do ? Perhaps the thought process is catching up with me -- not much thought before the decision, a ton now :) -- I have considered, and deeply respect the thoughts and advice of my superiors. And after all this consideration.... I have decided to maintain a steadfast "yes!" Yes, I will go. All the thought may have been hard to chew at first, but it has gotten softer, soft enough to swallow even, and I have gained tremendously from all of the nutritive juices that have leaked out of it!

Certainly the last thing I want to do is displease anybody with this decision, but I think God will work with it, whether I had the sense to go about it 'the right way' or not.

I wish this could be organized in a more sophisticated, sensible way, but the following will just be a pouring out of the thoughts that have been developing as a result of all this processing.

- Romans 8:28 (Message Version)
"...we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."
I know, in my heart, that I am going because of God. Perhaps it is not His immediate will for my life. (Frankly I can't say that I know what that is.) But because I want to make His glory as apparent as humanly, governmentally, linguistically possible.
Because of this, because He has set this desire in my heart to please Him with my life, I believe it will go well.

- It's true, I have within me the potential to share His love and to make His glory known anywhere, in any endeavor, in any pursuit; in China, in the U.S., in the grocery store down the street. And that's what I have been striving to do, working toward daily with my life. One day at a time, learning, tripping, learning more...One day at a time for Him.
It just so happens that one of those days, this opportunity came!

- It is a great opportunity, indeed. And what a better time for me to go! Sure, maybe even a months' more preparation would have been better, but in that 'big picture,' I currently have no bindings, educational, relational, work-related, or otherwise.

- I am young, but perhaps this isn't such a bad thing. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. -1Timothy 4:12

- More of this great opportunity talk! Let's take a look:
Even if it weren't for missions, it is, like, the best deal anyone could ever ask for. Only a plane ticket and visa costs up-front (and these will be reimbursed later) and the rest is covered.

*Free room and board in a good apartment
*I'll get the chance to learn another language for free (both by default, and through daily
tutoring)
*I'll come to know what it's really like to be a missionary, to live cross culturally, to be far out of my comfort zone, to depend fully on God.

- It is an experience I have been working toward through my life, my education, mine and others prayers... and one that has the potential to teach me more than I could have ever expected.

God has allowed for this to be, and we know that He will not bring our direction anything that He doesn't believe we can't handle. I don't think He would be misleading in having opened all these doors!

I am excited and thankful for this opportunity.
May God's will be done.