This morning

I told mom "I feel like something cool is going to happen today."

As I came downstairs to start some laundry, I had a thought.

What if the end of the world happened today?

Whoa!

At first I felt excited, but then a little guilty... a little burdened, kinda. If this life of mine were to end today, I can't say I'd be too disappointed! I love what 'life' is, what it has come to mean for me where I am right now; the people in it, this new stage I'm exploring... but I know that what I have to look forward to -- the sights, the sounds, (or whatever perceptions we might come to know)-- is much more fantastic than even the sweetest scene I could ever imagine witnessing, the most beautiful song I could ever hear. To praise God and celebrate His Kingdom perpetually with others of that same focus! [Isn't that the way we're supposed to live our lives now, anyway?] I know people say they can only imagine, but I admit I have a hard time doing even that! There is everything to look forward to.

But what about for people that have no idea what that feels like? No fantastic picture of hope, much less any reception of that concept, at all? That's the clincher. The thing that always gets me when I start to think about this world pulling its end cover shut. According to what I believe, what the Word of God tells me about these things, the outlook for them isn't nearly as hopeful.
There is absolutely nothing to look forward to.

That hurts to think about. It kind of provides a better understanding about why a lot of people live the way they do, though. But it still hurts.

There is a lot more that needs to be explored and said about this, but I've got some showering and malt-o-mealing to do in time to head to church.

I'll end with a couple things for now --

1) How should we best respond to this? Street corner preaching? Is it enough to live in a
God-pleasing way with our 'everyday' jobs, so long as we're sincerely focused on bringing glory to Him?

2) This morning's devotion (which came after the laundry got started) listed Isaiah 35:2, and then proceeded with this message.
"Yes or no. I like these kinds of answers -- black and white responses to questions that I can neatly
fit into two distinct categories. Most of the time, God's answer to us isn't so clean cut. In the thick of
our problems, we forget that our chief purpose is not to get a yes or no from God but to glorify Him
in whatever kind of answer we receive.
Remember, it isn't about us. It's easy to be caught up in how we will fair at the end of our respective
storms, but in the end God is always sovereign, and our situations provide the perfect opportunity
for His sovereignty to be displayed. Look at what He did for Peter. God didn't immediately remove
him from persecution; instead God allowed the situation to develop so Peter's life would be a
testimony of God's love and provision for His people."

naturally

Taken from the journal, the kind with a cover, lots of pages... everything! from last night.

I had tea late tonight, and so I feel inspired. Due to the late-night nature of this inspiration, however, my options for (creative) outlet are limited. What better excuse could there be to (supplant(?)) this habit... desire... to write?

I guess I could paint a picture to express myself, but, let's face it -- I'm not a painter.

I like to paint. I can get into it.

But it's not what comes naturally.

WRITING, though...

Writing happens. Sometimes, it seems,

I have no choice.
Of course, I could just choose not to write.

But then that would just feel more wrong than it would be unnatural to pick up a paint
brush at the first whiff of anguish or discovery to come along.

If I've learned anything consistently over the years (besides the nature of God's amazing
love and grace,) it is that we do ourselves a disservice to suppress our natural tendencies.
[So long as they aren't malign or harmful to others.]

Not only this, but we generally tend to make matters worse by perfecting suppression and
moving to even adopting someone else's full characteristic. Their own,
uniquely-designed, 'natural tendency.'
We trust theirs more than our own; and why? Because it is so appealing? Surely. It
brings us confidence because it works. We enjoy seeing the appeal it injects into / causes to
seep from our lives.

But then.
Oh, but then.
It doesn't matter who you are; t h e n you realize...
it's not right!
It works. You like it. You could get into it.

But you know deep down it's simply not you.

--> (Bullet points cause my hand's gettin tired and my mind slower)

--> Self-dissin ~ further potential / likelihood to push "SELF" down

--> but you know better; you realize. You champion the situation. You humbly
acknowledge your former misguidedness and begin to learn, trust, love
YOURSELF.
Your natural tendencies.

A n d i t ' s a m a z i n . : ) .

It's vibrant, it's expressive,
it's natural, it's bold,

it's beautiful,

it's YOu! :D

And it's your contribution to the world
to this life, to God.

His gift to you, your gift back when you tailor yourself and your life to fit His will,
uniquely, divinely.

So find it. Trust it. Love it.
Praise God with it.

Bitter and sweet

they're just better together.