Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sip of the Day
Thank you, God, for helping me feel, for softening my heart, for those moments of understanding, and for the chance to hold onto them as long as it takes to reorient my mind and focus, really focus, on right now.
Right now I am thinking about how the little mug of water has been sitting in the microwave for a few minutes... . problem solved, and steeping started.
Right now I am also thinking about school, how I should probably work on my French little ecriture, get a start on the math assignment, and nail down a topic for the philosophy final.
I am also marveling at how such a big house can be so empty for long stretches of time. It is odd, but makes for a relief of an opportunity to selectively organize my wayward thoughts.
This morning I am missing Dad. Or at least thinking about him a lot, which I take to mean I must miss him at least a little. I hope he is enjoying his Thanksgiving, and pray that he is really soaking in all the greatness from this short break hes got from all the training and hard working preparation.
Family is on my mind a lot lately. I guess Thanksgiving will do that to you. I am Thankful for the opportunity to share some time with the Smith family today (Grandma Nora invited me to her sister's Thanksgiving dinner) and learn more about the dynamics of moms and dads and brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and cousins. The Schlaegel family Thanksgiving was great, a lot of good food, plenty of laughter and all the wonder that comes with thinking about alll the babies just joining the family and the newness of their whole lives and the completeness that they bring to those that already have so much love for them. It is awesome, that completeness, but the fullness of its wholeness brings me to the realization that this kind of familial integrity is somewhat lacking in my life.
This is not to say that I have none -- I consider it one of my greatest blessings that I am a part of the Schlaegel family. My Grandparents are sweeter than life, my aunts and uncles and cousins are some of the funniest, most loving people in the world and I'm not even exaggerating, and the McClellan family -- wow! My time with them so far has shown me that they have been and are all of the above with the an emphasis on generosity and welcoming openness that I have never experienced at any other place or time in my life. Not only this, but they have shown me a perfect model of what family is. Full of love, hard work, and sacrifice, wrought with blunt honesty, and made complete with the stylings of all layers and ranges of emotion. Loud, silent, routine and surprising. Imperfect, and yet in this way, complete. I am blessed by this opportunity to experience life with them, to share life, laughter, toothpaste, water, toilet paper, love... it is my hope that I not outstay my welcome, and that God might help me to know how give back, and not merely to take.
What else is on my mind? It feels much clearer now, I think that covers the big things. I'm pretty sure I am to meet at the Smith's at 1:30. Work begins at 3, and as such I should probably leave with enough time to get back to the McClellan's and change and get to work.. that or I could go ahead and bring the clothes with me, change, and leave for work from there.. This second one sounds like the better of the two, and that way I can hopefully spend at least a little more time with them rather than eat and run off. At 2:38 I should probably start to change, and then leave by 2:45.
Note(s) to self: DONT forget something for putting the hair up. Leave McFly's (aka McClellans for all of you either unfamiliar with the family and/or my mind's processes)a note about when you will be back from work.
-OR-
pack up now and head home after work -- didn't bring anything to wear to church, anyway, and will probably be the only chance to head home this week...? Haven't seen mom in ages!
Hmm... Don't forget-- helping out 2nd service tomorrow, be there @ 9:30?
Also, I should make time for learning from a few chapters of Joshua today.
Pray about where to live in the future... apartment/shared house or something... (?)
..DO YOUR SCHOOLWORK
Start making Christmas cards...
L o v e w e l l this week.
Well I better go, I've got some packing to do!
Right now I am thinking about how the little mug of water has been sitting in the microwave for a few minutes... . problem solved, and steeping started.
Right now I am also thinking about school, how I should probably work on my French little ecriture, get a start on the math assignment, and nail down a topic for the philosophy final.
I am also marveling at how such a big house can be so empty for long stretches of time. It is odd, but makes for a relief of an opportunity to selectively organize my wayward thoughts.
This morning I am missing Dad. Or at least thinking about him a lot, which I take to mean I must miss him at least a little. I hope he is enjoying his Thanksgiving, and pray that he is really soaking in all the greatness from this short break hes got from all the training and hard working preparation.
Family is on my mind a lot lately. I guess Thanksgiving will do that to you. I am Thankful for the opportunity to share some time with the Smith family today (Grandma Nora invited me to her sister's Thanksgiving dinner) and learn more about the dynamics of moms and dads and brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and cousins. The Schlaegel family Thanksgiving was great, a lot of good food, plenty of laughter and all the wonder that comes with thinking about alll the babies just joining the family and the newness of their whole lives and the completeness that they bring to those that already have so much love for them. It is awesome, that completeness, but the fullness of its wholeness brings me to the realization that this kind of familial integrity is somewhat lacking in my life.
This is not to say that I have none -- I consider it one of my greatest blessings that I am a part of the Schlaegel family. My Grandparents are sweeter than life, my aunts and uncles and cousins are some of the funniest, most loving people in the world and I'm not even exaggerating, and the McClellan family -- wow! My time with them so far has shown me that they have been and are all of the above with the an emphasis on generosity and welcoming openness that I have never experienced at any other place or time in my life. Not only this, but they have shown me a perfect model of what family is. Full of love, hard work, and sacrifice, wrought with blunt honesty, and made complete with the stylings of all layers and ranges of emotion. Loud, silent, routine and surprising. Imperfect, and yet in this way, complete. I am blessed by this opportunity to experience life with them, to share life, laughter, toothpaste, water, toilet paper, love... it is my hope that I not outstay my welcome, and that God might help me to know how give back, and not merely to take.
What else is on my mind? It feels much clearer now, I think that covers the big things. I'm pretty sure I am to meet at the Smith's at 1:30. Work begins at 3, and as such I should probably leave with enough time to get back to the McClellan's and change and get to work.. that or I could go ahead and bring the clothes with me, change, and leave for work from there.. This second one sounds like the better of the two, and that way I can hopefully spend at least a little more time with them rather than eat and run off. At 2:38 I should probably start to change, and then leave by 2:45.
Note(s) to self: DONT forget something for putting the hair up. Leave McFly's (aka McClellans for all of you either unfamiliar with the family and/or my mind's processes)a note about when you will be back from work.
-OR-
pack up now and head home after work -- didn't bring anything to wear to church, anyway, and will probably be the only chance to head home this week...? Haven't seen mom in ages!
Hmm... Don't forget-- helping out 2nd service tomorrow, be there @ 9:30?
Also, I should make time for learning from a few chapters of Joshua today.
Pray about where to live in the future... apartment/shared house or something... (?)
..DO YOUR SCHOOLWORK
Start making Christmas cards...
L o v e w e l l this week.
Well I better go, I've got some packing to do!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Titus 2:11-14
"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Goal!
This bears no connotative reference to the Crew's recent victory, though I believe I just made one. (Hopefully that MLS Cup business goes well.) Rather, I'm attempting with this one word to convey my new objective; that is, to write clearly.
It is my hope that in practicing this, I'll learn to sow my thoughts neatly, that they might have the space and the opportunity to grow and mature in my mind (and the minds of others,) bearing a sweet, substantial fruit that blesses anyone whose lips so much as graze the minutest bit of its protective fuzz.
I so dig the horticultural metaphors.
..
Peachy.
It is my hope that in practicing this, I'll learn to sow my thoughts neatly, that they might have the space and the opportunity to grow and mature in my mind (and the minds of others,) bearing a sweet, substantial fruit that blesses anyone whose lips so much as graze the minutest bit of its protective fuzz.
I so dig the horticultural metaphors.
..
Peachy.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Straining toward what is ahead...
it seems that this time of year always makes me a little reminiscent of the high school days and all the conversations that took place then. It must be something in the air, or the way the house smells come wintertime that is just the same, and reminds me of this time --four years ago, even-- when, as a result of all the free time maybe, conversations were had that stick in my mind still, after all this time!
When I went to visit Dad in Albuquerque near the end of this summer, he fixed up and updated my laptop, and it occurred to both of us (after he saw all the music on here, and as a result, the lack of space) that there was a lot to clear out, as well as a lot to save. He gave me some discs to back up all the information here, and over the past month or so I have sorted through everything to save what I want and clear what it not necessary.
Because of this newfound organizational mindset, I have decided to start clearing out our pc at home. In so doing, I have come across a huge folder of saved past conversations, many of which are, of course, either sophomoric, sad, fairly pointless and/or mildly embarrasing. But that's what makes them so interesting to read!
This morning, I set out to read all of them and got through maybe 5 of forty and I sat down to one sensational discovery. Whether out of remorse or the occurrence that the person really did have a point all along, or both, I searched facebook for an old friend, to share with him that I finally understood what he was saying, to apologize for my stubbornness and to thank him for what he taught me so long ago.
I could not find him!
My heart did a funny sink-y pull and my mind started to process the disappointment that this was-- and just then a thought cleared the space in my mind as to make itself prominent as possible, and faded in beautifully:
"Forgetting what is behind and pressing on toward what is ahead"
And it made me think about now, right now, and living for the Lord and pursuing the Kingdom and how we can use our past to shape how we approach the future, and how soaking our minds and hearts in the past may not be the best way to go about forging our futures.
A lot of the conversations I had totally forgotten about anyway, so what is the point of going back to them, returning where I was? Every conversation that I did read today hit a familiar, nearly forgotten place in my heart, some much more pleasant than others. I will appreciate those for what I learned from them, but now I'm toying with the notion of chucking all of them, read or not --
Now, not all of the conversations were so gravely serious interactions that weighed on my heart and mind -- in fact, most weren't. Some are just the hopeful ramblings of a 16 year old girl looking to make some connection with some dreamy 16 year old boy, but they weren't substantial. They are fun to look back on, but besides nostalgia they're not worth a lot. If I don't remember some of the conversations I had, then obviously they weren't significant enough to mean a lot to my life, and as such, I should not waste time reading them, right?
If my life right now is to be about God and God only, then it's about time I lived like it, right now, not constantly thinking thoughts from the past -- happy or challenging -- but thinking totally on Him and how to serve Him with my mind and my heart and my actions [right now]. Maybe others can still maintain this focus while retaining all of their old communicative residue, all the thoughts and places in the development of their lives, but I think it's something that would be too much of a temptation, a distraction for me in the direct pursuit of God, right here, right now, with all that I have to offer.
---
Deleted. All of them. Officially.
"...But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..."
Philippians 3:13
When I went to visit Dad in Albuquerque near the end of this summer, he fixed up and updated my laptop, and it occurred to both of us (after he saw all the music on here, and as a result, the lack of space) that there was a lot to clear out, as well as a lot to save. He gave me some discs to back up all the information here, and over the past month or so I have sorted through everything to save what I want and clear what it not necessary.
Because of this newfound organizational mindset, I have decided to start clearing out our pc at home. In so doing, I have come across a huge folder of saved past conversations, many of which are, of course, either sophomoric, sad, fairly pointless and/or mildly embarrasing. But that's what makes them so interesting to read!
This morning, I set out to read all of them and got through maybe 5 of forty and I sat down to one sensational discovery. Whether out of remorse or the occurrence that the person really did have a point all along, or both, I searched facebook for an old friend, to share with him that I finally understood what he was saying, to apologize for my stubbornness and to thank him for what he taught me so long ago.
I could not find him!
My heart did a funny sink-y pull and my mind started to process the disappointment that this was-- and just then a thought cleared the space in my mind as to make itself prominent as possible, and faded in beautifully:
"Forgetting what is behind and pressing on toward what is ahead"
And it made me think about now, right now, and living for the Lord and pursuing the Kingdom and how we can use our past to shape how we approach the future, and how soaking our minds and hearts in the past may not be the best way to go about forging our futures.
A lot of the conversations I had totally forgotten about anyway, so what is the point of going back to them, returning where I was? Every conversation that I did read today hit a familiar, nearly forgotten place in my heart, some much more pleasant than others. I will appreciate those for what I learned from them, but now I'm toying with the notion of chucking all of them, read or not --
Now, not all of the conversations were so gravely serious interactions that weighed on my heart and mind -- in fact, most weren't. Some are just the hopeful ramblings of a 16 year old girl looking to make some connection with some dreamy 16 year old boy, but they weren't substantial. They are fun to look back on, but besides nostalgia they're not worth a lot. If I don't remember some of the conversations I had, then obviously they weren't significant enough to mean a lot to my life, and as such, I should not waste time reading them, right?
If my life right now is to be about God and God only, then it's about time I lived like it, right now, not constantly thinking thoughts from the past -- happy or challenging -- but thinking totally on Him and how to serve Him with my mind and my heart and my actions [right now]. Maybe others can still maintain this focus while retaining all of their old communicative residue, all the thoughts and places in the development of their lives, but I think it's something that would be too much of a temptation, a distraction for me in the direct pursuit of God, right here, right now, with all that I have to offer.
---
Deleted. All of them. Officially.
"...But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..."
Philippians 3:13
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